Have I mentioned that I hate cold weather?

Greetings - from the frozen tundra of Birmingham, AL. The temp when I went outside to crank the truck......17 degrees. WOW. I don't know how anyone up north (and I mean north of Kentucky) can stand to live in the icebox for the winter. I hate cold weather. Completely. Utterly. Hate. It.
I grew up in South Alabama and I can remember playing football on Christmas day with my friends wearing blue jeans and tshirts. Those were the days........Not that we're the north pole or anything, but we haven't been above freezing since Sunday. I talked to my mom last night and she called it "bark busting cold". I haven't seen any trees that are barkless due to the cold yet - but it's still pretty cold nevertheless. :)

Training just keeps rolling along. I've given up on the idea of running before work in the mornings due to the cold weather and have started running during lunch at the wellness center here at the hospital. I ran yesterday and I'll swim at lunch today. Whoever came up with the idea of running on a treadmill obviously didn't consult a fat guy at the inception. For a fat guy - running on a treadmill is uncomfortable and awkward. First, genereally speaking,  we don't fit. The tread is about 12 inches wide and we are considerably wider than that. We sound like a rhino running on hollow wood floors and to be quite honest - it can't be that lovely a sight for everyone else either. At least when I'm running on the road by my house - you only have to see me for a few seconds and then you can put that nightmarish sight out of your mind and go on about your day. For the poor lady manning the desk in the wellness center - she gets to stare at my rump the whole time I'm running/walking. I can only imagine the stories she has for her husband/therapist. Luckily our company has a good pharmacy plan for the scripts I'm sure my training has caused her. Also - who in god's name decided to put the stop buttons at the exact point where your hand would fall if, for instance, you are fat and stumble on the midget tread and reach down to steady yourself? Ok - stop everything and start over with the height/weight/time questions........ I think we should have running stalls - kinda like the showers where we can go in and run/walk in private with maybe a tv or a radio........I might be on to something here.
Swimming is going well - I have always loved the water. No problems there. Of course I always seem to time my swims about the time the old ladies are ending their water-cise class. I'd love to hear what they think of ole tubs and his swimming goggles every Tues and Thurs at lunch.
I have been searching for a bike and I might have found a couple I like online. The local bike store wasn't helpful at all. After I explained I needed a basic road bike and the bottom of the food chain to get started they proceeded to show me the $1800 bikes. I told them my idea of basic and theirs were on completely different levels. I was thinking of a used bike for $300. Maybe I'm a little cheap but hey - I got a wife to answer to. I'll keep the search going for now.

At last I have good news on the camera fiasco. After 20 days of arguing, name calling and irate phone calls - Wolf Camera online finally decided to ship the camera I bought. It took one of the nastiest phone calls I have ever made to get it accomplished. If you know me - then you know when I say it was the worst one ever it must have been really bad. I can cuss with the best when I want. The term I've heard before is "like a drunk sailor on leave in a port full of virgins". Anyway - we'll see what the camera looks like when it gets here. For all I know they may have dragged it behind the delivery truck. We'll just have to see. Hopefully all will be well and I won't ever have to deal with Wolf Camera online ever again. That will be just fine with me.

Happy Friday to all........

Well; it's been an interesting week. So far this week I have logged 2 runs, 2 weight training sessions and 1 swim - so I feel like I've accomplished something. I've fought with Wolf Camera all week with absolutely no end in sight. Have you seen the credit card commercials where the call center is one guy named "Peggy"? I am living that commercial with Wolf Camera. It's infuriating. I'm going to move on before my blood pressure gets high again from thinking about these morons. Just know that if I were lucky enough to ever get my hands on the characters from the India call center..... they would be a little  more conscientious about getting my packages sent to me.

So my wife is sick again. This time she has a bad cold. She claims to have caught it from me - but that's a stretch since I haven't been sick. She's on Z-pack of antibiotics but what she should really be on is bed rest. Instead of resting and getting herself better; she's planning a wedding shower for her future sister in law for tonight. I would have cancelled myself - but what are you gonna do? I have a feeling that tomorrow could be a pain full day for all us...........

My 15 month old ray of sunshine, Rylie, is doing well. She's at the stage now where it's fun to imitate everything mommy and daddy say or do. Which is cute. Sometimes. Then other times it's really not so cute. Especially if you have fits of drunken sailor language like I do. Daddy's trying honey - Daddy's trying.

My two mutts have been sleeping in the garage since it's been freezing this past week. I love how I get that whiff of mangy, wet dog when I go out to get in the truck every morning. One good note is that is when they are in the garage they aren't breaking off anonymous pieces of concrete that they are picking up from God knows where........You learn to take small victories where you can........

Until next time - that's the news from my world.

the never ending camera saga.......

Just for giggles I had another mind blowing conversation with Wolf Camera Online........If you ever had a thought of buying something from that site - hit yourself in the head with a brick and thank me later. Here goes nothing......

David Taylor: Hi steve! Welcome to live help at WolfCamera.com
steve: Hello - i am extremely frustrated with your company
steve: the inability to tell me when/if a camera i purchased will be shipped
steve: is there someone who can either tell me if i will receive the package by Christmas (Dec 25th) or refund my money?
steve: hello........are you there?
David Taylor: Can you please provide me your order number?
steve: ********4
David Taylor: Please give me a moment to check the information for you.
David Taylor: May i know the name and address on the order?
steve: *************************************************
David Taylor: The camera is in process to shipment.
steve: what does that mean?
steve: hello............
David Taylor: Means your items in one to two business days.
David Taylor: Means your items will ship out in one to two business days.
steve: so it will ship no later than Friday the 10th - correct?
David Taylor: We hope so.
steve: where is it shipping from?
steve: is there a contact number here in the US i can call?
David Taylor: At present we do not have that information.
David Taylor: Once the item will ships out you will receive an e-mail confirmation with the tracking number.
David Taylor: Our corporate office number is 949-442-0202.
steve: that number goes to the warehouse voicemail that no one answers - do you have a US based customer service number?
David Taylor: Please try this 1-877-690-0061.
steve: that number is to the call center in India - do you have a US based customer service number?
David Taylor: No you have to contact our corporate office number is 949-442-0202.
steve: ok - then i need a contact person otherwise the system hangs up on you.
steve: btw - that's not your corporate office - that's the Ritz warehouse phone #
David Taylor: No we do not have that.
steve: do you have a supervisor or manager i can talk with?
David Taylor: Ok give moment.
James Lee has entered the session.
James Lee: Hi Steve, How can I help you today
steve: i purchased a camera on 11/25 as a Christmas present for my wife. I am simply wanting to know when the camera will ship. For 10 days i have been told "Soon" - i need a ship date
James Lee: I regret to inform you that we cannot confirm the date of shipment.
James Lee: But we are expecting to ship the item very soon but cannot promise to the customer.
James Lee: Since we do not have the confirm date of shipment.
steve: do you have a a US based customer service number i can call - i don't want the India call center #
James Lee: Yes, you can call at 949-442-0202.
steve: that number goes to a warehouse voicemail box that no one answers - is there a contact person there - do you have a name?
James Lee: This is our corporate office number.
James Lee: If you try calling at this number you can reach to your corporate office.
steve: what exactly is the hold up on shipping the camera?
steve: is it back ordered?
James Lee: The camera is on backorder.
steve: what is the process for cancelling the order? this is ridiculous
James Lee: I can forward to cancel the order.
steve: is it going to take 8 weeks to get my credit card refunded?
James Lee: No, as we have not charge your card.
steve: why has every person for the past 10 days said the camera was in stock? ?
James Lee: so, the authorization will be removed within 24-48hrs once teh order get cancelled.
James Lee: Oh! we are sorry for the inconvenience.
steve: My credit card was charged on 11/27 for $824.92
James Lee: Yes, since we have shipped you the partial items from your order.
James Lee: But we are expecting this camera in stock very soon.
James Lee: As soon as we receive it we will shipout to you.
steve: this is a scam - do you have a manager i can talk with?
James Lee: Yes, you can call to our toll free number and ask for manager.
steve: let me guess....the call center in India?
James Lee: Yes, your right.
steve: it's people like you that give online shopping a bad name. You lie every time just to get people off the phone when you have no idea what the hell you are doing. you have no clue if the camera will ever ship. You can't even tell me where it would ship from. You should ashamed. Buy some self respect and tell people the truth.

WOW is all i can say. WOW.

Steve's getting angry..............(Seinfeld reference)

In my never ending quest to be a good husband and to rack up as many brownie points as humanly possible I decided to buy my wife the camera she has been wanting for Christmas. Not your every day, point and click camera – no this is a Nikon DLSR (for those that have any idea what that means). We did some research and found what we wanted (Nikon D3100) and then when the black Friday ads came out we found, what we thought at the time, was the best deal going. We ordered the camera bundle from Wolf Camera online. After a couple of days we received the memory card we purchased for the camera and then after a couple more days and a few phone calls to their outsourced customer service department in India, we received the extra zoom lens that we also ordered. The problem……no camera. So let me fast forward 10 days….. I call the customer service number and the standard response is “We ship soon”. That seems to be the answer to every question I ask – no matter how I phrase or how angry I get.

So I take a break to cool off. I look on the website again and I see they have “Live Chat”. I log in and wait my turn. Finally a box pops up telling me I’m on…..and this is the result:

John Keith: Hi Steve! Welcome to live help at WolfCamera.com
Steve: Hi - I'm trying to find out when the camera i ordered will ship?
John Keith: May I have the order number?
Steve: *********74 - the mem card and the extra lens have arrived
John Keith: Please give me a moment to check the information for you.
Steve: thank you
John Keith: All other items will get ship out very soon.
Steve: do you have a date for that?
Steve: if items are backordered can you send the camera itself - i'd like to have the camera so that i'm not scrambling as we get close to Christmas?
Steve: Hello......are you still there?
John Keith: We are sorry, we are not received a date form supplier. We are expecting soon.
Steve: can you tell me it will be before Christmas?
John Keith: We are expecting very soon. We cannot assure now.
Steve: then i need to see how to get a refund and purchase elsewhere. The order says that the camera is in stock and ready to ship but the bag is backordered. If that's the case - send the camera and we'll get the bag whenever it's available. Otherwise i need a refund and i will purchase someplace else.
John Keith: The ordered item are in sto
John Keith: stock and ready to ship out.
John Keith: We apologize for the inconvenience.
Steve: Then why are you waiting on a date from the supplier? A date to ship?
John Keith: Yes.
John Keith: But, you will get the e-mail confirmation once the order ship out.
Steve: But the problem is - if there is no assurance it's coming before Christmas I need to order from another retailer
John Keith: I request you to wait for few more days to get the item ship out. Or else you can go ahead and cancel the order.
Steve: who has the authority to get the camera itself shipped? Everything else can wait. Do you actually have the camera in stock to ship now? Do i need to call Nikon?
John Keith: Do not need to call any other place for this item, we will ship it soon. We apologies for the delay in shipping.
Steve: What you are saying makes no sense. If you have the items in stock you would send. I can see on the order email where the digital frame (that i could care less about) and the bag (that i don't need) are backordered. If Wolf Camera has the camera in it's possession - ship the thing to me - I’ll pay the extra shipping to get 2 packages. I need a ship date because you told me last Monday the same thing.
Steve: never mind.......I’ll call and vent my frustration to someone who grasps the concept of paying for something and then actually having that something shipped to them.

For crying out loud……..no wonder this country is headed to hell in a hand basket……

On to bigger and better things…Training. I am on schedule as far as my running goes. It’s been very cold here lately. Not sure how anyone that lives up north gets outside this time of year. Running at 5 am when it’s dark and cold makes me wish I’d never gotten fat in the first place – very depressing time of the day. I actually like the swimming part of the routing best of all right now. Swimming 2 days a week for 250m – I move that up to 350m next week. I’m still looking for a bike. Hopefully I’ll have that sorted out by the first of January. I’m adding in weight training to try and keep as much muscle as possible as I lose weight. I’ve never had trouble gaining muscle – it’s been the losing the fat part that kicks me in the A double S.

Well I better get back on the phone and see how the folks in India are doing right now and when they’re going to ship my freakin camera to me………

And then there was Thanksgiving.....

Thanksgiving, for all of it's good parts, is hell on someone with "weight issues". I ate like it was my last meal. Literally. Turkey and dressing, casseroles, rolls, cakes, cookies, pies....well you get the picture. I haven't been on a scale, but it's kinda like the IRS - it never has good news. I really blame my mom - if she couldn't cook so well I wouldn't feel the need to eat everything in sight. Alas, in the midst of the carnage I did manage to follow my training plan, as elementary as it is right now. I am currently walking 24 minutes and running for 6 minutes three times a week. I'll add in swimming twice a week this week. Now that I'm back at the office and somewhat busy - I'll try to get back to the portion control attack plan. At some point, as indicated by the letters "tri" in triathlon - I'll need to buy a bike and add that in. I'm guessing that will be a Christmas gift to myself. I'm pretty good at gift giving to myself; I've always said "I love me some me". I plan to talk to some local bike shops and see if they have any trade ins or used bikes that I could buy for now. For god's sake - Lance Armstrong has nothing to fear from me.

Yesterday, in what should have been my first day back to the office after the holiday, I spent the better part of the day with my wife in the ER. She apparently had an ovarian cyst rupture in her abdomen which causes an awful lot of horrible pain. Several years ago we had a mutual friend die suddenly of an embolism in his stomach and that's all I could think about as she way lying in the floor screaming/crying in agony. If you were a driver on highway 280 Monday morning I was the maniac in the grey Acura that was driving in medians, crosswalks and on the side of the road. I'm pretty sure we set some traffic records. Anyway, the good folks at Trinity Medical Center ER took good care of her once we got there. She is safe and sound and although she is supposed to be resting I'm pretty sure she's out Christmas shopping as I write this. All in all - made for a scary day. Makes you realize how lucky you are and how fragile we are on this big green rock we all call home.

I had a great time visiting with my family last week. It's always good to see my nephews - I hate we live so far apart. I feel like I have invaluable advice for teenage boys that is just going to waste. (My mom would spit coffee across the room to hear that last sentence) I'm glad it's less than a month until we all get back together again. Just in case my sister and nephews read this - I found some really good deals on paintball guns and we should have one heck of a Christmas....... :)

Well...here goes nothing

First, let me preface this first entry with the note that this really is the beginning. Two days before thanksgiving and I have declared that I will force myself to finally get back in shape by registering for a late spring triathlon. Now before you start laughing, this is not the normal, blood and guts triathlon. This is a much shorter version; but I will still be able to label myself as an athlete. I hope to use this experience to motivate me to try a full blown, cry like a little girl triathlon late in the summer.

As it stands right now - I suppose the only way to describe myself is that I'm fat. I stand a statuesque 5'10 and weigh an  earth shattering 240 pounds. Now, I would like make sure it's known that I do carry a better than average amount of muscle. Not quite 240 pounds of it, but more than the average Joe nevertheless. My goal is to trim this down to around 190 pounds by this time next year. Partly to get in shape to race, but more importantly to be around for my beautiful wife and baby girl. I would hate to know I left behind a beautiful daughter because I ate myself to death.

So there it is - short and sweet. I have downloaded a training program, but I will wait till a later date to publish the origin to give me time to evaluate whether it is a logical and workable plan. With the next post I hope to have the first run and swim behind me. If I somehow survive - you will hear about it here first.